Kyudo Cupid

Here we are again. That time of the year when we can see spring on the horizon and feel the need to kick start our romantic engines with the help of chocolate, roses, and teddy bears stitched with cheesy quotations all in the name of a ambiguous Christian saint reinvented to overshadow a pagan holiday. As we all know, the saint and any of his fabricated representations have been all but completely removed from what chocolate companies have firmly claimed as their own special day to benefit from the onset of diabetes and depression. Oh Valentine's Day.

As men prepare to shovel out what little money they've earned since Christmas, I remind you that on our side of the world, it is women who do the work. The Japanese rarely pass a chance to put their own unique stamp on imports, and February 14th is no exception. Ideally, it serves as a day for shy Japanese women and girls to step out of their ordinary social barriers and express romantic feelings for that one special fella upon whom their cubicle-bound daydreams focus the other 364 days of the year.

"Lucky," you might say. "I wish I was in Japan for Valentine's Day so ladies could shower me with chocolate affection." However, tradition in this country is too strong to not play a role in this most superficial of holidays. The concept of giri requires that you return favors for those who have done something for you. Thus, giri-choko (obligation chocolate) accounts for about 99.9999% of the Valentine's gifts passed after the age of 12 and envelopes everybody from bosses and coworkers to friends and brothers. That cute little convenience store cashier or drug store attendant you've been eyeing for the past year isn't likely to express her undying love for you today. You might "accidentally" leave a purchased treat at the register so that she chases you down to return it, but you would hardly deserve a pat on the back for that show of desperation. Just sit back and enjoy the sugar as it rolls in and politely honor the lukewarm sentiment fueling the gift-giving frenzy. Sorry to rain on the Cupid parade. For those of you who fall in the gifted minority and receive the difficult to identify honmei-choko (true-love chocolate), savor the experience and start a blog so we may all enjoy your success.

Either way, men and boys must acknowledge the double reverse "giri" on White Day in March by returning any gifts received to show appreciation for any female colleagues or friends that may have contributed to the memories of 2012.

All jokes aside, have a happy Valentine's Day and may Cupid find you all.

Melting Pot

Photo Credit: Trevor Dykstra
http://www.flickr.com/photos/architecturegeek/8201437585/

"No immigrant will ever be truly Japanese."

This statement sits in the in the back of every foreigner's mind in Japan.  We've all read it, heard it, and thought about it numerous times while preparing for the move or settling in here.  How ignorant and arrogant must these people be?

We come from a different world.  The United States was founded on the ideal of freedom. At least that's we are taught to believe. Regardless of the measure of truth in the previous statement, the US today is populated my millions of people fitting every size, shape and color category imaginable. This wide range has created more than its fair share of problems through the country's short history, but is, either way, characteristically American. Modern European societies are facing similar trends as the heterogeneous wave sweeping through their traditionally homogeneous borders grows. Other than Iceland (ground zero for gene studies), I don't think I have ever witnessed or will again experience a country seated so far toward the other end of the spectrum. Japan is starting to change along with the rest of the world, but is still well over 90% Japanese* and grasping firmly onto that statistic.

In my neck of the woods, there are large numbers of Brazilian and Peruvian immigrants living in Japan on strong long-term visas so that they may work in the various factories and plants in the area. However, this agreement only extends to those with measurable Japanese lineage. There are also many Chinese and Thai short-term workers in neighboring cities. In the whole of Japan, it is Koreans who hold the number 2 spot. However, children of Korean families often attempt to appear as Japanese as possible and raise their children as such. I have been told to avoid greeting Korean parents in their native tongue so as not to highlight them as different. Recently, I was told about a Japanese soccer player who fought to play for his home nation, but was met by some aggression because of his Korean lineage.

Don't get too heated up just yet, as such cases should not be taken out of context. It's easy to get angry here, but as a visitor, it is your responsibility to find the context in which such statements are made. You'll often hear "naive" as the leading adjective used to describe the Japanese population as a whole and, while I disagree, I recognize the validity of the description from a western point of view. As in most cases, most Japanese people aren't trying to offend you.

Just this morning, I received a package. The delivery woman and I exchanged the customary pleasantries and then she, as with all other deliveries, attempted to say my last name.

"Cocoa, Cocoia, Cockeea..."

I've met a few people who can pronounce it correctly in Italian, but next to none capable of stumbling into the strange Americanized phonetics used by my family. I demonstrated for her and then went on to explain its origins. "I'm Italian," I told her. She then asked me if I had ever studied English in my home country. I explained to her that I am American but my family is Italian. "Kakoii (cool!)," she replied, "Italian and American."

This isn't the first time I've had such a conversation. In the US, people ask any person they come across with a unique last name where it comes from. In Japan, usually in class, at city hall, or when I receive deliveries, I explain my heritage in typical American terms. Given my miserable Japanese skills, such misunderstandings may very likely be my fault. However, I see too much of a pattern to ignore. I believe that traditional homogeneity has left the language and culture without a proper way to describe a person of mixed lineage. When I say I am "Amerika-jin," I am literally saying "America person." When I then say "Italia-jin," it essentially sounds like I am countering the previous statement by saying I'm an Italian person. The term Italian-American seems contradictory when I explain it to my students as there is no word for Japanese-Japanese or Korean-Japanese either. This is shocking for someone who grew up in Southern California or any part of America for that matter, but incredibly interesting. Those of you who decide to travel here will be lumped into categories and eventually will find one you don't fit into. Don't be offended. It's natural to draw conclusions based on the only information you have available to you. When you realize that the average Japanese person is only connected to the west by popular culture, it makes more sense.

Aren't all Americans white or black like Brad Pitt and Beyonce?
All Americans are overweight and eat hamburgers everyday.
All American girls look like Gossip Girl.
I know California. I watch The OC and Laguna Beach.
Do you drive a Hummer?

For the same reasons, most of us are disappointed when we get off the plane and don't see geisha, ninja and samurai running around in sushi bars and zen gardens. Such realizations and chances to bridge cultural misconceptions in both directions are what keep me so intrigued by my surroundings even as the unique becomes ordinary. The popular statement that no immigrant will ever be Japanese is made more simple and less offensive. Immigrants, regardless of time spent in Japan, language skills, or social standing, will never be "Japanese" because they are, in fact, not Japanese.


*Peoples of the World: A Guide to Cultures. 
Wade Davis & K. David Harrison
National Geographic-2nd Edition, 2008.