Two Words

When preparing for my move to Japan, I browsed countless online resources for “insider tips” on dealing with the small aspects of daily life that most travel collections overlook.  I asked anybody who knew a friend’s friend that had traveled, taught, or lived in this country for stories and email addresses so that I could try to bypass the idealistic depiction of Travel Channel and Lonely Planet and develop a foundation of solid information that would best prepare me.  What I found interesting is that both kinds of sources, mainstream and personal, commented on what to expect from the Japanese people in a similar fashion.  Words like “shy” or “standoffish” were littered through publications of all kinds as travelers and authors discussed daily life in this country.  The most common of examples is the dreaded public transport experience that forces immigrants from their traveler’s honeymoon stage into one of isolation, desperation, and sometimes a kind of traveler’s depression. 

More optimistic authors tend to refer to the Japanese people’s inability to maintain eye-contact as an “endearing shy quality.”  Cynics, on the other hand, discuss some kind of strange superiority complex that our hosts feel so inclined to hold over our heads on every train, bus, or plane.  I apologize ahead of time for choosing the bipartisan route from here, but there are parts of both arguments that I’ve come to believe as true.

 

Like all countries, Japan is made up of millions of individuals.  While, officially, the nation claims 99% homogeneity of the population and proudly embraces the stereotype that all sidewalks are spotless and all citizens courteous, the fact of the matter is that Japanese people still come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and personality types.  This is why I believe both arguments are correct.  Any traveler who spends an extended period of time in a foreign country will experience highs and lows.  Travel is not about reclining on a sunny resort beach, but instead about adventure and discovery.  It’s about breaking free of the desktop wallpapers, calendars, and Samantha Brown travel specials to see what substance lies underneath. 

The Japanese people, as a whole, are very kind.  They are very deserving of any praise they receive on that front.  However, I’ve also witnessed treatment of Brazilian immigrants that could easily make one want to black out my previous sentence.  Lucky for me, this is the 21^st century and readers are less able to vandalize publications without causing damage to their own computer monitor. 

What one should know when planning to travel to Japan is that, like any of the world’s endless destination, it is a real place.  99.9% of what you think you know about this country from Google Images covers the spans of about 10 days in spring when cherry blossoms bloom and color the countryside pink.  Almost never, outside of Kyoto, will a geisha glide by you in full traditional kimono or will you stumble upon an isolated temple complex. 

You will, however, begin to feel lonely when sitting on public transportation.  You will find yourself in a situation in which you might as well not have a voice.  You’ll step off a curb too soon, you’ll find yourself unable to order food, you’ll find yourself in a barber’s chair with no idea how to describe how you want your hair cut, etc.  What separates a tourist from a traveler is how they handle the “deer in headlights” look from every person they attempt to communicate with.  You begin you really enjoy your time here when you realize that locals are just as terrified by the inability to communicate, if not more so, than you are.  This is a population that prides themselves on providing quality service.  When they are unable to do anything but just that, most of them feel guilty and many of them will apologize to you.  Imagine that for a second.  A visitor to Los Angeles or New York sits down at a local diner and begins to look over the menu.  When the waitress arrives at his/her table, she is surprised to find that the visitor is unable to speak English.  They point at the menu and use their hands to attempt to describe what kind of food they’d like to order, but are unable to do so.  It’s at that point that the waitress apologizes to the patron for being unable to communicate in their native tongue.  Yeah right, not on our side of the Pacific.

In a superficial attempt to bring this mindless jabbering full circle, let’s now return to the opening public transportation scenario.  Just tonight, I took different trains home from my lessons because my last class of the night cancelled.  Being about an hour earlier than normal, this meant that the trains were much more crowded.  Not once did I have a fellow passenger sit in the chair next to me.  More often than not, a person would squeeze in on the other side of the car just to avoid sharing a seat with Mr. Blondie.  I thought to myself how true many of the stories I was told really are.  I understand completely how this would make one question why they accepted a teaching job so far from home.  I’d look over at other passengers just in time to see them dash their eyes away in an attempt to hide their interest in the foreigner.

 

A few stops later, even more people flooded into the car.  Again, the seat next to me was the only one that was left empty.  At that point, I looked up at a middle-aged woman and greeted her with a quiet “konbanwa.”  She was completely unable to hide her surprise.  Not only was the giant blonde dude addressing her, but he did so in her native language.  She, eyes as wide as they could be, returned the greeting.  I then pointed towards the empty seat next to me and said “doozo.”  She smiled and sat down.  Just like that, I had made my very first Japanese train friend.  She spoke no English other than “ok,” but we had a very enjoyable ride together.  She pointed at everything from the moon to various types of shoes and told me the Japanese word for them.  We laughed together as I attempted to pronounce each exactly as she had.  As we reached my transfer station, I thanked her in my best Japanese and bid her an “oyasuminasai.”  She waved and said, “See you!”  Anytime I find myself in an uncomfortable situation, I will think back to tonight and remember how a simple two words resulted in such an enjoyable exchange.